What Does Being Authentic Really Mean Anyway?
Wanna know the truth about “being authentic”? Sure you do! This is all over the Internet all the time so I thought hey this was one of your self-care journeys. But let’s be real here, the term “Authentic” is a mumbo jumbo word used by the new agers to make something really simple really complicated.
Recently I saw someone talking about your “Goddess Sphere”. Ok, right off the get I thought where is this sphere because I wanna be a goddess! Here is the real deal folks it all means the same thing they just made the words sound more enticing.
It is all being true to yourself and you can take a course because there is a course for everything or you can read this because I am going to tell you in plain English how I got there.
Are You Lost?
First things first, if you are trying to find yourself…CUT IT OUT! There is no greater waste of time and really no such thing. There was a time I believed it too until I read the book A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle who is a brilliant spiritual teacher. He said there is no such thing because you are always you, there’s nothing to find. Ponder that for a sec until it sinks in. So true right?
We are always us, we evolve, we grow but we don’t lose ourselves. I am still that shy, skinny kid who loved books but I’m also everything I added since.
All Roads Lead To Memory Lane
I have found myself often saying I am not the person I was when I did this or that but I am. What I came to understand was I had to love every me I was at every point. The biggest problem I believe in being true to yourself or authentic is not me or you, it is them. I like to call it the noise. The noise is the outside influences telling us what we should be.
Society has set up this whacked system of normal that really nobody fits into. There are no normal people! But let’s get back to our story. For as long as I remember I have hated confrontation and standing up for myself, this made it all too easy for people to convince me of what I should be.
Skinny has been the attractive norm so we kill ourselves to be that perfect size whatever, dumb dumb dumb. In my case, I associated what other people wanted with my own happiness. If I was the perfect wife, mother, woman than I would be happy. If I do what they want, they will love me or want to be my friend.
For a while I excelled at it and then it happened. I realized I wasn’t happy, nobody was happy. My road to being authentic cost me dearly when If I had embraced who I was from the beginning it would have saved a lot of heartache.
My truth is I am weird! Most people are actually in their own way. I am an Introvert, I am very random, I think too much, I am really good with people but connecting on a personal level is difficult for me. I stress social situations like you wouldn’t believe and I can never learn enough. I like to dress in an unusual way and I don’t ever want to be one of the cool kids.
I like being married but I am not a typical wife. I have your back and I love to care for people but I could care less about decorating or cleaning or cooking. I have high standards for people which often others have trouble with. Honesty is the most important thing to me. Whew! Is that more than you wanted to know?
Self Acceptance Comes At A Price
Here’s what you really need to know though. Being Authentic comes with a price. Everyone is not always going to accept you. Getting to that place of not caring what people think always sounds easy but it’s not. It can be really lonely. What I found though when you do, the right people gravitate to you.
Block Out The Noise
The first thing I did was just stop listening. People want to change you for them, not for you. When you love someone you love all of them, not just the parts you agree with and it’s the same with self-love. It can mean extracting people from your life. I did this and though it hurt at the time it was worth it. You will find a peace you have never known.
You really have to accept everything as a part of true self-love. No one is all good or all bad, weak or strong. It truly is kind of like having multiple personalities and integrating. You have to embrace the parts of you that you don’t like too. All of it is you and makes up who you are.
Stop searching for the “whys”. Why do we need an answer for everything? I don’t have an answer for that *giggle* seriously though you may think why do I have to wear black every day? The true answer is why does it even matter, stop looking for the meaning in everything and just be.
So do you get it now? We are all “Authentic”. Be the best true self you can be while loving the self you’ve always had.