How A Dance With The Devil Taught Me To Be Confident
Do you think you know me? Your not alone, many in my online life believe they do too but of course everyone has a twisted tale. Now you’re thinking what the jack does that have to do with confidence? It has everything to do with it because we are not just a moment. We are our past, our present and our future.
I became confident by being broken. We learn more through our hard times than our good times and I am no different. I will keep it real with you because if I can help one person not travel the same road then I’ve done a service.
I lived most of my life as a victim and for a long time I was complacent about it. I went from a controlling parent to a controlling husband, all too willing to trade off everything I was or could be to be taken care of. I always wondered exactly what it was about him that lured me into the dance. To be honest he really isn’t my type at all. The gist of it is I had no idea that it wasn’t love that timed my ride home from work or didn’t allow me friends outside the marriage. It wasn’t love that made sure I didn’t even know how to write a check. It wasn’t love that told me I was nothing and hurt me just enough to not leave a mark.
I allowed it all to happen, that’s the truth. I allowed my spirit to be broken, to die inside. But though it took me a long time to see it, there was an inevitable spark. We can all only be pushed so far, manipulated so much. Honestly, I did the wrong thing in my awakening. I held a knife to him and said no more.
It was the jolt I needed to say this isn’t who I want to be. It’s really as simple as that. Gaining confidence really boils down to deciding who you want to be. Subsequently, we divorced (thank you) and I was like a baby learning to feed myself and high on my newfound freedom so it took many years to figure out where I was going and who I was going to be. Being strong is doing something even though you’re afraid.
Overcoming insecurity has always been an uphill battle for me but I can say today I am the most confident I have ever been and here’s how. I know someone who oozes confidence no matter what is going on around him so I asked him how he does it.
The answer is simple, if you don’t think you’re awesome noone else will. That really sunk in after much disbelief because I felt that told me nothing. After a while though I really got it and I hope it will help you too:
Fall In Love With Yourself
Make a list of all the things you love about yourself. Do not list the negatives. The truth is there are millions of details that make up a person and it’s our egos or the little devil on our shoulders that mess everything up. Keep the list where you can see it.
Every morning get up and look in the mirror telling your reflection how awesome you are. Every Single Day. Tell other people without sounding conceited. I often tell people when they ask what I’m going to do that day,” I am going to be as awesome as I can be”.
Light Every Room You Walk Into On Fire
The absolut best advice I ever saw was online, where a woman said that every time she walked into a room she held her head high, shoulders back believing and telling herself that every person in the room wanted her. It is so true that confidence is a magnet. Who doesn’t get mezmerized by an alpha man or woman.
I hope this helps you to be the confident, fabulous person your are meant to be!